I’ve long maintained that “The Birthday Song” (not linked) is the worst song ever written. The lyrics are simple mundane repetition, while an un-singable melody drives their awful syllabic shapes outside of the register of the normal vocal range of human beings. The fact that it’s not public domain is litigious hilarity, however it’s a hidden blessing in that it prevents the song from being played by those who’d rather not shell out royalties for its use (read: almost everyone).
I actively avoid partaking in the inevitable singing of this song, in any situation; even my own celebration. Since it’s my birthday today (surprise), I’m offering an alternative for those who wish to melodically convey their sentiments. Don’t worry, it isn’t very long.